Return of the aliens, and todays other events

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phil d

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Remember a while back when I posted about the aliens kidnapping my recycling bag? Well they came back and did it again today!  I went out immediately after the bin men had been and once again my bag had gone, rang the council and once again they deny their men have taken it, "it must have blown away" said the man, anyway I went ballistic and they're bringing me a new one tomorrow, plus they're going to tell them not to steal it in future.

Next one was to report a leaking fire hydrant, my neighbour reported it months ago, nothing got done! I reported it and within 10 minutes got a job reference number and it's going to be looked at within 5 working days, they came and fixed a street lamp, my neighbour reported it 3 weeks ago and nothing happened, I called it in yesterday and they came today.

And finally!

After having my house cladded and rendered 2 years ago it's started to develop some unsightly green patches, so I rang the housing to report it, it went like this.

"good morning, repairs, Mike speaking how may I help you" 

"good morning Mike, it's ex president Phil here"

"WHO!"

 "ex president Phil"

pause while the guy gasps in disbelief

"excuse me, you said you were the ex president is that correct?

" yes Mike I used to live in the white house"

"right, and where do you live now?"

"in a greenhouse, I'm a gardener"

at this point the poor bloke doesn't know what's going on

"OK, so how did you go from being the president to being a gardener?

"well Mike that's kind of your fault, you see you guys did my house up a couple of years back and it was painted a lovely white colour. For some strange reason it's now going a horrible green colour"

"er yes carry on"

"So you see mike the president lives in the white house, and a gardener has a greenhouse, see where I,m coming from"

Cue a huge burst of laughter from Mike at the housing. After he stopped laughing he booked a surveyor in to look at the problem, we then spent about 10 minutes chatting as we both grew up in the same area, he said it was the best laugh he'd had in ages, made a change from people ringing up moaning.

Maybe that's why I get things done, after all it's nice to be nice! 

 
Where I lived in WSM my front garden always ended up with windblown green bags on recycling day, for some reason. They were rarely marked with whose they were, so I couldn't return them. I used to leave them out for people to come and collect but it got ridiculous by the time id got over a dozen of them

 
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