sick to death of "secrets"

I sincerely wish that someone would tell the idiot tv people to use a bit more imagination.

Today there was another "secret life of" on tv, obviously they've grown tired of "big fat"

Allow me to explain, last year there was a programme on tv, it was called "the secret life of" something or other, anyway it was about I think, a wild animal, and what it does.

Now that was fair enough, it was a wild animal, not usually seen and it's habits, while not well known were to be honest, rather interesting.

However since then the producers have gone nuts, we've had,1), the secret life of 7 year olds, 2) the secret life of 4 year olds, 3) the secret life of babies, 4) the secret life of cats, 5) the secret life of dogs, 6) the secret life of gypsy kids, and on and on!

Now apart from cat's, assuming you throw it out at night, and therefore have no idea what it gets up to,how the hell can anything else have a "secret life"?

A baby eats and sleeps,apart from sleeping it spends it's time in close proximity to an adult, so how does it have a "secret life"? Same with all the other children's versions, imagine you pop into your 4 year old's bedroom at 1 am to check it's ok, and to your horror discover it isn't there, about an hour later the front door opens, it staggers in, blind roaring drunk, covered in vomit and chips, "oh sorry dad, just nipped down the pub for a few beers, didn't realise you were still up". Or you discover that your 7 year old is running an illicit drug smuggling operation from the privacy of it's bedroom. Even the gypsy kids, it's no "secret" what they'll be up to, learning how to nick stuff, or intimidate people, hardly a secret is it?

Talk about a lack of imagination when coming up with a title for a tv programme, mind you it's a bit like the "big fat" series, we had everything, "big fat", except for the one they should have made, "big fat greedy sods who watch Jeremy Kyle and stuff fast food down their necks"

Apart from the obvious, i.e any form of big brother, what programme's wind you up?

Not all' Secret life of' program are bad....

for some of us of us of a certain age




And the rest of the series 

I have never seen that one, so  thanks for that. The best one (for me) was secret life of the washing machine.

Richard-the-ninth said:

I have never seen that one, so  thanks for that. The best one (for me) was secret life of the washing machine.

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When they finished it off with a brick?

they just don't do,progs  like that anymore

Just don't do 'TV' anymore! 

I was watching some "don't pay the tv licence" vids on YouTube , the lengths these Tomatoes go to to try and entrap you is unreal even if you don't watch live TV or use any BBC services.

They just work on the assumption  that everyone has a TV. 

I would stop paying but the aggravation you get its probably worth paying.

im always getting letters from them saying im under investigation because i dont have a TV licence at my unit. they just get fed to the fire

Those 'secret life of machines' programmes look quite interesting, but I don't see how a machine can have a "secret life" if somebody designed and built it.

For me it's the 'Police Camera Action' genre which has been milked to death - Cops with Cameras, Traffic Cops, Motorway Cops, Police Interceptors, Sky Cops, Road Wars, Street Crime UK, Brit Cops... Just bring back The Bill already.

Adam W said:

but I don't see how a machine can have a "secret life" if somebody designed and built it.

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unless its something like this?

https://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/en.futurama/images/4/43/Bender.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/300?cb=20150206072725

Adam W said:

look quite interesting, but I don't see how a machine can have a "secret life" if somebody designed and built it.

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I think it is a veiled reference to,the 'secret workings' hat you don't see....just marketting

a bit like that festering pile,of runny dogs excreta 'Big Brother'.......as one of the 'big brother' voices in the Diary room is a Producer called Adele a mate of my wife's who,is of the female persuasion and in no way a brother

marketting faeces

Mr Orwell would not be impressed

Straight into Room101  with Big Brother .    Mindless modern TV  , house full of no account mindless ego's on legs living in some kind of Kiddies , basic prime coloured box .   Dear God !!!

I find very little to interest me on TV these days ............  Anything on the commercial channels is spoilt by the great wall of  advertising .  They are there to sell products and they buy mainl;y mindless US castoffs to keep you in your seat while the bombardment continues. 

Its not very popular these days to say this but I'm saying it .thank God for the BBC   and DVDs .

We must have now about 300 channels between BBC  ...Freesat  & Freeview  and I can't think of anything I'd make a point of watching .  Oh !  Joanna Lumley in India was interesting .

We all have different tastes , I thought "Endeavour"  would be a step too far after Morse but I liked it and its a million times better on DVD.

And always remember .the TV Licence is a massive general tax like road tax ...   only a small percent goes to fund our commercial free station  .   Has anyone ever seen how much it actually raises ???  Doubt it . 

I've posted this before but as I'm of a certain age I can still sing the Brainwashing jingles from the early adverts .  NOt sure what that proves exactlty .

The ancient ones like The Doc , Kerching etc will also know them .

Murray Mints , Murray Mints ...too good to hurry mints .....

The ESSO sign means happy motoring , call at the ESSO sign.

I'm going well, I'm going Shell , I'm going well on Shell Shell Shell

All I really watch in TV is motorbike racing,

And I'm certainly not paying sky some extorninate fee for that pleasure, so I have found an alternative source for that.

And, I love the BBC line, if you have a TV you have to pay us,

Ye, right, even if I don't watch UK broadcast TV,? Go fk yourself.!

I hate programmes where muscled men with fake tan and dodgey neck tattoos run about after knickerless bimbos with fake tan, a penchant for short skirts and manufactured crises, they've somehow became celebrities and are even in the newspapers. 

Why do I know who Sam Friars and Jeremy McConnell are, I've never watched those Love Island / The Only Way Is Essex programmes.

steptoe said:

All I really watch in TV is motorbike racing,

And I'm certainly not paying sky some extorninate fee for that pleasure, so I have found an alternative source for that.

And, I love the BBC line, if you have a TV you have to pay us,

Ye, right, even if I don't watch UK broadcast TV,? Go fk yourself.!

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Oh I know that.

Evans Electric said:

Straight into Room101  with Big Brother .    Mindless modern TV  , house full of no account mindless ego's on legs living in some kind of Kiddies , basic prime coloured box .   Dear God !!!

I find very little to interest me on TV these days ............  Anything on the commercial channels is spoilt by the great wall of  advertising .  They are there to sell products and they buy mainl;y mindless US castoffs to keep you in your seat while the bombardment continues. 

Its not very popular these days to say this but I'm saying it .thank God for the BBC   and DVDs .

We must have now about 300 channels between BBC  ...Freesat  & Freeview  and I can't think of anything I'd make a point of watching .  Oh !  Joanna Lumley in India was interesting .

We all have different tastes , I thought "Endeavour"  would be a step too far after Morse but I liked it and its a million times better on DVD.

And always remember .the TV Licence is a massive general tax like road tax ...   only a small percent goes to fund our commercial free station  .   Has anyone ever seen how much it actually raises ???  Doubt it . 

I've posted this before but as I'm of a certain age I can still sing the Brainwashing jingles from the early adverts .  NOt sure what that proves exactlty .

The ancient ones like The Doc , Kerching etc will also know them .

Murray Mints , Murray Mints ...too good to hurry mints .....

The ESSO sign means happy motoring , call at the ESSO sign.

I'm going well, I'm going Shell , I'm going well on Shell Shell Shell

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"Ahh yes those wonderful TV adverts with catchy tunes, I have a cousin and back in they day he could tell you every advert by it's music,it was a bit like that programme that used to be on in the 80's "name that tune". he only had to hear a few bars of something and straight away he'd tell you the advert. One day he arrived at our house and I had just been listening to the 1812 overture by tchaikovsky, I was telling him about how good it sounded on my new stereo, and he asked if he could hear it.

I started the record off and after a few seconds he said,"that's not by Tchaikovsky, that's the music from the Bacofoil advert". He was even convinced that someone had nicked the music from the Hovis advert to use elsewhere, when it was actually the other way around.lol

Incidentally remember when Esso Used a popular Platters tune for their paraffin advert? "they asked me how I knew it was Esso Blue, I of course replied, with lower grades one buys smoke gets in your eyes"

bum bum bum bum Esso Blue!

Not sure if you people are aware of Mobdro, a free app for android phones and tablets, which allows you to stream tv channels from around the world. I have only really used it to watch premiership footie matches on sky sports and bt sports, but there is a huge selection of channels, possibly even some motorbike racing.

https://www.mobdro.to/index

Talking of brainwashing ,    the little feller , ( our dog)  knows most of the music from adverts that have dogs or cats in them .    He sleeps during the programmes on commercial TV  but awakes for the ads  which he knows contain many dogs & cats.  About the first 4 notes are enough for recognition.

The weirdest one is the G-Tech Air Ram which features a dog for about 2 seconds, getting up & walking away,  but now all vacuum adverts are scrutinised closely, then he looks at you , puzzled when a dog fails to appear.

phil d said:

"Ahh yes those wonderful TV adverts with catchy tunes, I have a cousin and back in they day he could tell you every advert by it's music,it was a bit like that programme that used to be on in the 80's "name that tune". he only had to hear a few bars of something and straight away he'd tell you the advert. One day he arrived at our house and I had just been listening to the 1812 overture by tchaikovsky, I was telling him about how good it sounded on my new stereo, and he asked if he could hear it.

I started the record off and after a few seconds he said,"that's not by Tchaikovsky, that's the music from the Bacofoil advert". He was even convinced that someone had nicked the music from the Hovis advert to use elsewhere, when it was actually the other way around.lol

Incidentally remember when Esso Used a popular Platters tune for their paraffin advert? "they asked me how I knew it was Esso Blue, I of course replied, with lower grades one buys smoke gets in your eyes"

bum bum bum bum Esso Blue!

Click to expand...

Evans Electric said:

I've posted this before but as I'm of a certain age I can still sing the Brainwashing jingles from the early adverts .  Not sure what that proves exactly .

The ancient ones like The Doc , Kerching etc will also know them .

Murray Mints , Murray Mints ...too good to hurry mints .....

The ESSO sign means happy motoring , call at the ESSO sign.

I'm going well, I'm going Shell , I'm going well on Shell Shell Shell

Click to expand...

I think it proves you are old, but do not yet have dementia. I think you may have also "put a Tiger in your tank" whilst filling up with fuel. And whenever you were putting the milk bottles out you were on guard in case there was "a Humphrey about". And you were probably on the phone each evening to "make someone happy". And every young lady who walked passed you in the street, you would be trying to figure out "is she or isn't she" wearing hair spray? And I would never dare to even suggest that Mrs Deke was unaware of Playtex Cross Your Heart, "Lift and Separate properties". You had better not mention any more or they will think you are a "Fruit and Nut Case", or a "Secret Lemonade drinker"? 

http://www.exxonmobil.co.uk/UK-English/about_history_esso_tiger.aspx

http://www.stuffwelove.co.uk/humphrey.htm

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buzby 





I may be wrong of course?

Doc H

As usual you are not wrong Doc .

Grew up without a television set until I was about 10 yrs .    Hence I am still a great fan of radio.   My Dad saved up what was then a small fortune to buy a 12 inch  B&W TV.   A Regentone with a rotary channel dial , however much you turned it there was just the one channel . 

A test card was displayed until around 2.00 pm I think , when horse racing was shown until     about 4.00pm when Children's Hour came on with Andy Pandy  or the Woodentops .    Then for us slightly older kids came The Lone Ranger ,   Hopalong Cassidy  or Roy Rogers .  After that 1/2 hour  there was nothing more for kids .

Auntie Beeb was stuck well up it's own rear , downward facing waste fuel orifice until Commercial TV was launched and gave the Beeb a mighty kick up same orifice and propelled them out of the 1940's.

Evans Electric said:

As usual you are not wrong Doc .

Grew up without a television set until I was about 10 yrs .    Hence I am still a great fan of radio.   My Dad saved up what was then a small fortune to buy a 12 inch  B&W TV.   A Regentone with a rotary channel dial , however much you turned it there was just the one channel . 

A test card was displayed until around 2.00 pm I think , when horse racing was shown until     about 4.00pm when Children's Hour came on with Andy Pandy  or the Woodentops .    Then for us slightly older kids came The Lone Ranger ,   Hopalong Cassidy  or Roy Rogers .  After that 1/2 hour  there was nothing more for kids .

Auntie Beeb was stuck well up it's own rear , downward facing waste fuel orifice until Commercial TV was launched and gave the Beeb a mighty kick up same orifice and propelled them out of the 1940's.

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Flash Gordon, on Saturday mornings, Just William and Dick Barton, happy days,there's a tv channel now that only shows old films and I love it.

My daughter in law however point blank refuses to watch anything in black and white,its a shame really, I love the old stuff, same with music, I listen to stuff from the 50's, 60's, 70's and 80's. I have a broad taste in music and listen to all sorts, recently I bought a couple of CD's, one was Dolly Parton and the other was Val Doonican, now you can't get much further apart than that can you!

No I like the good old days, we didn't have all the problems we have now, the country wasn't overrun with migrants, or being run by idiots, and we had summers that lasted for weeks not days.

I remember Flash Gordon on Saturday morning kid's cinema Phil,.... Ah yes  ... I used to read all the Just WIlliam books .  Didn't they do it on TV with Denis Waterman as a child actor back then? 

And yes the summer did last forever back then ...the tarmac used to melt on our road.                Even though I lived in a smokey old city I thought I should be like Just WIlliam.... always  emerging from ditches in country lanes ,covered in mud and vegitation stuck in my hair.......   with my dog Jumble... off to meet my fellow Outlaws in the barn .   

Phil you're not correct about your CD's     ...they are not a million miles apart as country music developed from the folk music brought to America by Irish , English  & Scottish  immigrants .  Many of the early American folk songs used old English tunes ...morphing into Bluegrass  & Country . Had those two singers met they would have been well in tune .

Take the " Streets of Laredo"  well known country song  . it was based on an old English folk song about a  bloke who loved the ladies but was suffering from a VD , it was called "The unfortunate Rake"  apparently .   Another offshoot is  the "St. James Infirmary Blues"

Whoops I'm going off on one again , don't want to bore everyone.

PS   I heard an episode of Dick Barton  Special Agent recently on 4xtra ...dan duran duran duran..the exciting opening music ...have to say the rest of it was absolute  pants .