Creative words used in "summary of condition"

Did an EICR this morning - its fair to say its a bit of a dump, which clearly hasn't had any TLC for a long time, let alone on the electrics and this made me wonder what "PC" words people use in their summary of condition on their EICR

So for today I need to say "in desperate need of money spending to repair the items highlighted and to reflect the electrical requirements of the 20th century" (i.e. get your f. wallet out)

Thoughts?

This installation is approximatly 40?/50? years old and would have been carried out to the 14th?/15th edition wiring regulations, generally the installation is in a poor condition and has been assessed as being in an unsatsifactory condition for continued service. The issues identified appear to have come about due to a mixture of damage and lcakc of maintenance over the years as well as modifications carried out in a non-compliant manner without proper regard to good workmanship practices, other issues are a result of the changes in requirements for safety devices since the installation was carried out. Due to the age and condition of the installation, the client may wish to give consideration to having this installation rewired, as the current installation is appraoching the end of its servcieable lifespan and while it would be possible to address the issues, this may not be cost effective if a long term view is taken.

Excellent Mr Phoenix, can’t wait for Kerching version! 
I sit back in anticipation

Where it's deserved I would have thought that working in words like "danger", "hazardous", or phrases like "risk of electrocution", "possibility of fire", would strike home better with typical laypersons. 

I assume there are no actual blatant C1's or C2's deeming it Unsatisfactory?

just a massive list of C3's and/or FI's

Otherwise its an easy summary?!

(e.g.  This installation lacks several significant essential safety features required to comply with BS7671 for continued used. These need attending to ASAP to avoid further risk of injury to any users of the installation.)   

So here's my tuppence in the pot for a...

"Satisfactory..  But really does need an update!" .

"Whilst the installation inspected is functional, there are obvious signs of poor standard workmanship, (probable DIY). Significant parts of the wiring, accessories, and protective devices, are very old and possibly well past their manufactures expected lifespan. Many older installations were designed to accommodate a very different electrical demand compared to the expected typical usage of a modern installation. It is not wise to keep any electrical installation operational, up to the point that it finally fails, requiring replacement/upgrade, resulting with loss of power and significant inconvenience, due to the inability to re-instate power to any critical circuits.

Although the condition of electrical wiring can be difficult for many to comprehend, especially if lights & sockets are still working, by following industry standard guidance for inspection and test, with approved meters, the current level of deterioration is clearly significant. If this were a set of car tyres, I would consider this installation to be within the 1.6mm to 2.0mm depth range.  (i.e. Tyres over 1.6mm tread depth may be legally valid for use on UK roads, but once around 2.0mm plans for prompt replacement are normal practice). Without prompt remedial action this installation could deteriorate at a continually faster rate with an ever increasing risk of danger of electric shock or fire."

Because electricity is invisible and can kill a healthy adult in less than a second, I would suggest a reasonable level of urgency is applied to the areas requiring attention that I have highlighted.

Guinness    

I think I would keep it short and concise in plain English, for simple reason of; whilst the long answers are very informative and correct, here we are dealing with someone who clearly isn’t interested in their electrical system, applying an attitude of it still works so what’s the problem. 
 

so perhaps something along the lines of: 

“ the electrical installation is old, therefore lacking of modern safety features and has multiple evidence of poor workmanship. It requires significant upgrading to comply to today’s regulations. 
To continue to ignore the electrics could very easily result in serious injury or at worst killing you.
I would advise action sooner rather than later, please see report.  “

Ha ha. I didn’t mean it to read would you help me write the summary for me

 i was wondering what creative words you all had used!

always difficult to word wthout being rude, especially if it passes test, but is rough as a rats bottom. I tend to use words such as 'strongly advise' or 'strongly recommend' . '

This installation reminds me of one of the branches of the armed forces:

Rough As F

**holds mug of tea** "Nah, its proper f&*ked mate"

Lacking modern safety features and close to the end of its useful life

or less politely

If this installation was a 50 year old horse any Vet would know exactly what to do  . .