New Electricians guide to replying to Facebook posts on sites is released BS6969 ammendment 1
Question - My oven keeps tripping electrics when cooking oven chips and nuggets for my ten kids, the fuse box keeps going pop when i repeatedly turn the fuse back on and repeatedly keep turning the oven back on.... I’m half way though cooking tea, my kids will starve can someone fix it by seeing this on Facebook with mystic powers, and by the way I’m poor so can’t afford to pay alot, we’ll I can’t afford to pay anything and would like it for free to be honest, TIA
Answer = Nar love, oven elements ****** it’s cheaper to buy a new oven than Facebook it for millions to see living in hope someone’s gonna tell you something other than the above.
To those relentless facebook taggers that have to be 1st to reply to any old **** witts post with a recommendation, tagging all the sparks they know because they have used him once to swap a light bulb and dragging them into a shit job on a Sunday night at 10pm give your head a shake.
Sparks don’t go to college to learn how to fix ovens, fridges, washer machines, we hate them and the last thing a spark wants to touch is mrs smiths filthy greased up unwashed caked in shite oven inside her unclean house that ain’t seen a cleaning cloth or hoover in ten years and you wipe your feet on the way out.
Question - Every time it rains my Fooosebox trips.... what i havent told you is your the 5th electrician ive had out to fix it, the other 4 told me things that made me sad so I keep that a secret till the end trying to get someone to fix it in hope without giving me bad news saying Rewire...
Answer = Wet stuff related flower - especially that fine stuff that gets you wet.
Its getting into your dodgy unmaintained electrics, especially that 40 year old downward facing rotten, unmaintained open to the element wet stuff outside security light with no glass front or halogen lamp innit, the one over the drive or it could be that old outbuilding, the one thats piss wet through like a siv with rusted sockets, lights and switches innit, that outhouse that when you touch the wet outlets the game of russian roulette, fry me alive where i stand ill be your down to earth best connection friend that’s if your lucky.
If your really unlucky then your socket cables may be jointed and sat in a lake of water under your house lazily unclipped to joists and rotten resulting in big explosions and a big expensive rewire cos you cut corners last time didn’t you when you and your mate Bob who's done a bit of wiring next door wired it then put laminate floor and tiles down everywhere didn’t you.
My special Xray vision goggles (experience) can surmise having seen the rest of the installation this dog shit wiring denotes a R E W I R E.
Question - 3 am phone call for a emergency call out – do you come out and give free quotes i have no sockets and my boiler dont work either...
Answer - I have no words to describe the inner feelings I have when I hear this foreign language at this unearthly hour having been rudely woken by the repeated hounding of redialing my number over and over multiple times till im forced to answer.
Free is not a word in this electricians vocabulary nor does my tester have a button on it that says diagnosis of the problem without spending hours testing it for free, and then quietly as i question the meaning of life i refrain from saying the obvious to the freeloading person on the other end of the phone of can I please please please come spend 6 hours fault finding your house to say fixed it, rewired a broken leg then you not pay me cos you thought I'd then give you a quote for it.
The end
Question - My oven keeps tripping electrics when cooking oven chips and nuggets for my ten kids, the fuse box keeps going pop when i repeatedly turn the fuse back on and repeatedly keep turning the oven back on.... I’m half way though cooking tea, my kids will starve can someone fix it by seeing this on Facebook with mystic powers, and by the way I’m poor so can’t afford to pay alot, we’ll I can’t afford to pay anything and would like it for free to be honest, TIA
Answer = Nar love, oven elements ****** it’s cheaper to buy a new oven than Facebook it for millions to see living in hope someone’s gonna tell you something other than the above.
To those relentless facebook taggers that have to be 1st to reply to any old **** witts post with a recommendation, tagging all the sparks they know because they have used him once to swap a light bulb and dragging them into a shit job on a Sunday night at 10pm give your head a shake.
Sparks don’t go to college to learn how to fix ovens, fridges, washer machines, we hate them and the last thing a spark wants to touch is mrs smiths filthy greased up unwashed caked in shite oven inside her unclean house that ain’t seen a cleaning cloth or hoover in ten years and you wipe your feet on the way out.
Question - Every time it rains my Fooosebox trips.... what i havent told you is your the 5th electrician ive had out to fix it, the other 4 told me things that made me sad so I keep that a secret till the end trying to get someone to fix it in hope without giving me bad news saying Rewire...
Answer = Wet stuff related flower - especially that fine stuff that gets you wet.
Its getting into your dodgy unmaintained electrics, especially that 40 year old downward facing rotten, unmaintained open to the element wet stuff outside security light with no glass front or halogen lamp innit, the one over the drive or it could be that old outbuilding, the one thats piss wet through like a siv with rusted sockets, lights and switches innit, that outhouse that when you touch the wet outlets the game of russian roulette, fry me alive where i stand ill be your down to earth best connection friend that’s if your lucky.
If your really unlucky then your socket cables may be jointed and sat in a lake of water under your house lazily unclipped to joists and rotten resulting in big explosions and a big expensive rewire cos you cut corners last time didn’t you when you and your mate Bob who's done a bit of wiring next door wired it then put laminate floor and tiles down everywhere didn’t you.
My special Xray vision goggles (experience) can surmise having seen the rest of the installation this dog shit wiring denotes a R E W I R E.
Question - 3 am phone call for a emergency call out – do you come out and give free quotes i have no sockets and my boiler dont work either...
Answer - I have no words to describe the inner feelings I have when I hear this foreign language at this unearthly hour having been rudely woken by the repeated hounding of redialing my number over and over multiple times till im forced to answer.
Free is not a word in this electricians vocabulary nor does my tester have a button on it that says diagnosis of the problem without spending hours testing it for free, and then quietly as i question the meaning of life i refrain from saying the obvious to the freeloading person on the other end of the phone of can I please please please come spend 6 hours fault finding your house to say fixed it, rewired a broken leg then you not pay me cos you thought I'd then give you a quote for it.
The end
