Bl00Dy Hitchhikers

[m4tty]

So today on my way home I saw a bloke holding a sign to near where I live in a lay by, so being in a happy mood I pulled over and offered him a lift.

He was an old bloke about 70 if not he had a hard life. Anyway

The bag he had put on my back seat was rolling round in the back as I swerved in and out of the traffic and this smell appeared from know where ???? it was rank I thought the bloke had dropped his guts at first cause of my driving but even with the window down the smell lingered. After 20 mins of driving with rain blowing threw the window I had to ask him what was in the bag, guess his reply.

"MIND YA OWN F'IN BUSINESS" he said. I was shocked, then I thought he was having a laugh so I asked again.

"MIND YA OWN F'IN BUSINESS" he said again, $# I said under me breath. I'm giving this smelly old git a lift and he tells me to MMOB, well.....

I had to stop in the garage to get a drink as I could now taste the smell and it wasn't nice, asked him if he wanted anything with a grimace and he said "no thanks" ??? Anyway after swigging on a 2L bottle of Evian and washing me mouth out I popped a chewing gum in me mouth and noticed the old git had pi55ed off.

I ran over to my car as my wallet and stuff was in the door panel and low and behold it was there, not a £ missing and he knew it was there as I took a score out to buy the water. He just vanished.

Anyway, I get to the top of the road where I live and I hear a bump in the back, I look over and the dics only left the bag there.

Tosser

 

[Sharpend]

You don't think he got out to use the loo and you've disappeared with his bag?

 

[ProDave]

So come on then just WHAT is in the  bag that honks so much?

 

[m4tty]

So come on then just WHAT is in the  bag that honks so much?

"Mind your own f'in business" :slap

 

[ProDave]

the fish he's just been poaching?

 

[binky]

Bits of rotting body parts from the last bloke that gave him a ride!!

 

[ProDave]

Maybe it wasn't the bag that honked, but the passenger. you didn't notice the smell after he got out did you?

 

[revjames]

passed a guy hitch hiling once. so after a second thought I pulled up. The guy picked up several large bags and started running towards the car. Now I saw him I didnt like the look of him so I floored it and wheel span away to a torrent of abuse and rude gestures!

Another time (in NZ) I passed a guy hitch hiking and pulled in. Didnt look to bad from behind (if you know what I mean) but now when he got in I had a shock. he had a full face moko (facial tattoo of a tribal nature) he was also really big and agressive looking. But got chatting to him and he was really nice and polite and grateful for the lift! Sometimes its hard to tell.

 

[sprocketflup]

Balls - matty I meant to scoob u for that one mate, but hit the wrong ****** button and descoobed u, soz ol lad, that did makle me larf

**edit** hopefully one of the mods has sorted that now

 

[ProDave]

So what are you going to do with the mystery honking bag?

Be afraid. Be very afraid, He probably has your registration number and is tracking you down as we speak.

 

[sprocketflup]

PMSL^^^

 

[m4tty]

It was a joke btw lol

And the answer to your question is ..... "mind your own f'in business"

My old mum didnt get it either but the mrs fell straight in hahaha

 

[batty]

So are you saying the bag didn't smell?

 

[steptoe]

:shakehead

its an old one,

but still really good, 

@revJames,

btw, a lot of years ago I was once walking home from a bike race, had a few beers and didnt fancy riding home so left the bike and got the train nearest to where I lived,

was pouring down when I got off, no buses, so started to walk, got a lift from a 'posh' bloke in a really nice posh car, a Jag,!

now, I had a leather bike jacket [proper '80's one] with writing on back, jeans, and a [perhaps] uncouth haircut, including head tattoos.!

I'll bet I left that guys car soaking wet, I was dripping as I walked home! but a nicer bloke I couldnt have met, 

for all his 'poshness' image, he was just a normal bloke that had made it good, I think that at least, why else would he have gave a lost soul like me a lift? :|

 

[binky]

picked up a fella the other week on my way to sunny Salcombe who was hitching between towns, which I thought a bit odd, turned out he was a bird spotter running around the countryside with his camo gear and binoculars trying to get to where ever some rare bird was.

many years ago I was returning from part of deepest Dartmoor when I spotted an old fella waving a hanky - turned out someone had knicked his car so dropped him back to Plymouth - was very grateful after so many had driven past and ignored him.

Generally though i don't pick-up anyone, just those that seem to be in an unusual place to be hitching.